Are you happy??

Are you happy?.. or should the question be.. are you satisfied with your life? I am not... there are things that I could have done better in the past,.. mistakes that I would love to take away, and to change my pathway to where I am now... But as I say these things, I wonder IF it would have made a difference to my present and/or to my future... They say that we, as individuals, make our own paths but in our religious texts, it says that our fate is laid out for us. WE have no "say"... so which one is it??

I don't know. I just know that I want to be happy and satisfied with myself and the life that I live... and wonder how I can do that?? I was at one time happy and satisfied with my life... but now, it has changed, and I wonder if it is related to where I am in my life?? I was reading Oprah's spirit newsletter, and there are two different articles.. one on how to be happy, and the other on reclaiming one's identity. I have heard of both of these.. as I was growing up but have forgotten them. It's simple...

First, How to be happy?
There are two things that we must do...
1. Let go of our past... we must give up the hopes of a "perfect" past... letting it go, go, gone...
2. Take a vow of kindness.. be kinder to yourself and others.

The first will be hard... I'm a perfectionist (I have said it!). I'm always looking for ways to improve myself and to be "perfect", and I don't know how to stop??? I want to be good at everything.. even now.. I want to know everything that there is about medicine, and to make that "perfect" score on my board exams. It's not possible... there is just too much knowledge, and it continues to grow every day. I know this but yet.. I can't get it through my "hard and stubborn" head. It's hard on my psyche... because when I fail, it hits hard, and I wonder where I went wrong... and I know that's me!!!

The second.. well, half of it will be easy, why? I am a kind person. I do to please..

Second, How do I reclaim my identity?
1. What is it I want to accomplish for myself instead of other people?--this is simple, I just want to be a doctor, and to travel not in the United States but throughout the world, and take care of sick... and teach about good health practices...

2. Learn to become a healthy narcissist--engaging in good self-care and dressing to please yourself and for success...

3. Build a healthy body--"My body is my temple"

4. Cultivate your sense of fun and humor

5. Jump-start your libido

6. Reframe your thoughts--making yourself the heroine, write or think of positive stories when upset or something negative happens... building immunity to all of the negativity that has happened or will happen...

so knowing this.. will I be happy and satisfied with my life? I don't know.. but I do know that I need to work at it, and enjoy what I have done (successes and failures), and know that I'm not "perfect", and it's okay... As Souza states... "Happiness is a journey, not a destination."



PS: In Regard to my board exams.., I need to remember what Dr. Spock stated.. "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."